Little Brother
by MistOfGrayDawn
Summary: Cooler is turned into a chibi in a freak accident. What will Freeza do? He is sure to be blamed, so he has to keep it a secret. What happens? Chaos, of course! R&R please!


**A/N: This is just an idea I had one day, so I finally got around to typing it. Just meant to be a little laugh. Also my first humor fic. Tell me what you think, but no flames, please.**

(Freeza-4th form)

(Cooler-4th form)

Freeza stormed back to his chambers on planet Cold, clearly in a bad mood.

"Stupid Cooler," he muttered, "eating my Pop-Tart. I was going to eat that this morning!" He sat down heavily on the bed, still fuming over his lost Pop-Tart. He growled, about to blast something to bits just because he could, when a massive explosion shook the whole palace. Freeza jumped nearly ten feet in the air, swearing loudly. He immediately looked to see where the explosion was coming from.

Looking out the window, he saw the science labs in a plume of smoke and fire. He cursed, darting out the door to the burning laboratories. Freeza was not worried about the fire; it wouldn't last long on the ice planet, especially with its dry air and low oxygen levels. As predicted, the blaze quickly burned itself out. Soon, only a plume of black smoke remained.

With a start, Freeza realized that his brother had been heading towards this very area only a few moments ago. A feeling of dread crept into his stomach. The thick smoke limited visibility, making Freeza even more nervous. "Cooler?" he called out uncertainly. "This isn't funny…" His tail twitched nervously behind him as he took a tentative step forward. Half-expecting to have his brother jump out and scare the living daylights out of him, Freeza cringed fearfully. When nothing happened, he growled at himself for being such a baby. "Come on, you can blow up planets with ease," he told himself. "Why are you scared of a little smoke and your brother?"

Steeling his resolve, Freeza started to take another step when a shooting pain went through his tail and back. He screamed, turning around and instinctively charging a ki blast. A childlike giggle echoed throughout the burned building. When the smoke cleared, Freeza could hardly believe what he was seeing. A small Icejin child stood before him, no more than two or three, looking like a younger version of Cooler. The child giggled again, and ran into the smoke.

"Wait!" Freeza called out, running after the child, following the sound of his small footsteps. A giggle and a tug on his tail alerted him to the child's presence. He spun around, catching him by the tail. Freeza hoisted the struggling child into the air, moving into a clearer part of the burned building to get a better view of it. The child's struggles ceased, allowing Freeza to get a good look at him. "This is not happening…" said Freeza in complete disbelief. Upside down, his 'little' brother stared back at him innocently. In that moment of disbelief, Freeza's grip on the tail slackened, allowing the child to fall to the ground. The small purple Icejin scrambled to his feet, his face contorting in a familiar snarl of rage.

"Yup," said Freeza to himself. "That is definitely Cooler." Little Cooler crossed his arms, turning his back on his sibling. Freeza had to resist laughing at the cuteness of the scene. Squatting down next to him, Freeza gently tapped Cooler's shoulder. "Hey," he said softly, "I'm sorry, ok?" Freeza was extremely glad no one else was around to hear him apologize to anyone, let alone his brother; but this chibi version of his older brother was just too cute. Cooler turned around, smiling again. Freeza stood up, getting ready to leave, when he felt another tug on his tail. Cooler looked up at him expectantly, arms raised. Freeza sighed, bending down to pick him up. The small purple child smiled, wrapping his tail around Freeza's upper arm. Somehow Freeza was sure he would be blamed for this.

As he was walking, Freeza considered just leaving the child somewhere and being rid of him for good. He almost immediately knew that option was no good; his father would kill him if something happened to Cooler. By now the emergency teams had arrived. Sirens blared outside, and voices spoke urgently. He walked out with little Cooler in his arms, hoping to get away unnoticed.

He rolled his eyes as rescue workers hurried over.

"Lord Freeza, are you all right?" One of them asked urgently.

"I'm fine," he said, slightly annoyed. He realized he was covered in soot, along with chibi Cooler. They were giving the child suspicious looks, and Cooler's tail tightened around Freeza's arm. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he snapped. "Go away!" They all quickly scurried away with a chorus of "Yes, Lord Freeza!"

He decided to head back to his quarters to get cleaned up before thinking of what to do about his chibi brother. Entering his room, Freeza set Cooler down on the bed before looking in the mirror. Soot covered his body, and he had a few minor burns from the smoldering wreckage. Little Cooler appeared to be fine, apart from being covered in ash as well. Freeza started the shower, picking up his brother and putting him under the water. Cooler appeared to be enjoying himself, until he became so wet that Freeza dropped him on his head (again!). He hit the floor with a loud 'thump'. Sitting up, he glared at Freeza. Freeza couldn't resist laughing at the sight; that is, until Cooler's ki blast hit him square in the chest, knocking him on his butt. Cooler giggled again, grinning smugly. _He may be younger, but he's still the same old Cooler,_ Freeza thought sourly. Once Cooler was clean, Freeza stepped into the shower, rinsing the soot from his body and soothing the minor burns on his legs and tail.

Turning off the water, Freeza heard footsteps outside the room. His heart leapt into his throat. Quickly drying himself with his ki, Freeza rushed out there as his father's voice came from behind the door.

"Freeza, open the door," he called impatiently.

"Coming, father!" he called back. Picking up Cooler, he searched frantically for a place to hide his chibi brother. His gaze flitted from the potted plant sitting next to the sofa, to the bookshelf near the window, the large open window, and finally to the closet. He darted to the closet, opened it, and shoved Cooler inside. The small Icejin started to protest, but Freeza quickly put a finger to his lips and shut the door. Then he ran over to the door where his father was waiting and pressed the button to open it.

"Hello, father," said Freeza, slightly out of breath. "Freeza, have you seen your brother?" King Cold asked, a bit concerned. "No, not lately," he lied quickly. "Oh, well alright then. I can't find him anywhere…" Freeza looked down, squirming internally. If only his father knew what had become of his older brother. King Cold walked away, and Freeza sighed in relief, slumping against the door.

_I hope you _appreciate_ this, Cooler,_ he thought to himself. Just then, there was a loud 'pop', and a 'splat' soon followed. Freeza ran into the kitchen to see what was happening. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as the peanut butter covered kitchen came into view. Cooler was standing there, holding a now-empty jar of peanut butter. Freeza nearly fell over anime style at the sight. Sighing, he picked up his peanut butter covered brother and started to walk out of the kitchen. "You are most definitely trouble," he said to chibi Cooler. The purple-skinned child only grinned in an almost frightening manner. _Yeah, I _really_ need to fix this._

Suddenly Freeza slipped in peanut butter, and fell on his back, tossing chibi Cooler into the air. He waited for the child to come crashing back down on him. When nothing happened, he looked up, confused. Freeza sweatdropped as he saw his brother hanging from the chandelier by his tail, gently swinging back and forth.

"Alright," he said, positioning himself beneath the chandelier, "come down and I'll catch you." Chibi Cooler grinned wickedly, swinging up into a sitting position. He picked up a glob of peanut butter, and hurled it down at Freeza. It hit him right between the eyes, and he fell backwards with a yell of surprise. He quickly stood back up, wiping the peanut butter from his face. Cooler was trying to keep from falling off the chandelier laughing. "You little brat!" Freeza growled. He got another glob of peanut butter in response. Growling, he picked up a glob of the sticky orange substance and threw it back at his 'little' brother. Cooler hadn't been expecting it, so it hit him square in the chest. For a moment he looked like he was about to cry, but then smiled evilly, throwing a tomato at Freeza. It just got worse from there. Their food fight lasted for about 20 minutes, before a servant finally knocked on the door, timidly asking,

"Lord Freeza, is everything all right in there?"

"Yes, fine!" he called back, narrowly dodging a large grapefruit, which hit the wall with a tremendous 'SPLAT!' Cooler burst into giggles at the sound. The bewildered servant just walked away, trying to forget he'd ever heard anything. Turning back to his chibi-fied brother, he watched Cooler take a watermelon, seemingly from nowhere, and start eating it at speeds Freeza never thought possible. Cooler's eyes glowed with anticipation, his purple cheeks full of…

"WATERMELON SEEDS!" Freeza shrieked and dove for cover behind a dining table tipped on its side. The seeds pelted him with the speed of a fully automatic weapon, and hurt just as much, even if they didn't do any real damage. In the shelter of the dining table, Freeza rubbed his stinging behind. Looking at the time, he gasped. Just enough of it was visible through the coating of peanut butter and other numerous squashed food items to see the time. He had to do something, and fast. His father would be getting suspicious that neither he nor Cooler had been seen since the explosion. Freeza was left with only one option. He would have to do something he _never_ did. He had to surrender. And to his brother, no less.

Taking a deep breath, Freeza stood up from the shelter of the table. Before Cooler could start pelting him with food again, he shouted "WAIT!" Chibi Cooler lowered the orange he had been about to throw. Freeza sighed. "I surrender." A victorious grin spread across the smaller Icejin's face. But to Freeza's surprise, Cooler nodded his head in acceptance of Freeza's surrender, and jumped down from the chandelier, extending his hand in a formal handshake. Freeza accepted, surprised at his brother's maturity.

_Wow, Father was right when he said Cooler was mature for his age._ Freeza would never, ever admit that out loud, or that he had ever thought that, but he did. "Now let's get you back to normal," Freeza said, almost regretfully. He picked up Cooler and began walking down the empty hallway. His footsteps echoed in the wide corridors. Suddenly Zarbon came around the corner.

"Lord Freeza I—"He cut himself off, looking strangely at the child in Freeza's arms.

"Yes, Zarbon?" Freeza asked coldly. "Never mind," replied Zarbon quickly, walking away. Cooler looked quizzically up at him. "I don't understand him, either," said Freeza, shaking his head slightly. Freeza decided to fly to the genetics lab to see what they could do. It didn't matter what they found out, as he was planning on killing them all anyway as soon as they were done.

Once he got outside, he took to the skies to find the genetics lab. Carrying the child slowed his progress slightly, but not drastically. The smoke from the explosion had yet to clear, making it harder to see where he was going, not to mention polluting the atmosphere with chemical fumes and stinking up the place. Landing outside the building housing the geneticists' labs, he set Cooler on the ground so they could both take a little break before going inside. And Freeza liked to procrastinate, so why not?

Out of the corner of his eye, Freeza saw Cooler disappear around the corner of the building. Sighing, he got up and chased after him, almost afraid to imagine what kind of havoc he could wreak if left to his own devices. He shuddered at the thought. The planet would be in ruins by noon. Freeza nearly panicked when he saw Salza walking across the back lot of the building. He quickly snatched up Cooler and stuffed him into the nearest bush just before he came into Salza's range of vision. Spotting Freeza, the blue-skinned man walked over to meet him.

"Hello, Lord Freeza. By any chance have you seen Lord Cooler?" he asked in his French accent. It was a bit difficult to understand him at first, but Freeza got it. He sweatdropped. _If only you knew… _

"No, has he gone missing?" said Freeza evenly. "That seems to be the case," replied Salza. "Well, I'll say something if I do see him," Freeza said, anxious to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Salza nodded and continued on his way.

As soon as he was out of sight, Freeza sighed in relief, looking into the bushes for his brother. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when Cooler was nowhere to be seen. Suppressing the temptation to blow the entire place sky-high, Freeza began a frantic search for chibi Cooler, hoping to Kami that he hadn't gone far. As he was running along the perimeter of the building, something hit him on the head. Freeza looked up in annoyance, ready to blast whoever would dare to drop crumbs on his head. He sweatdropped once more as he saw chibi Cooler sitting on the edge of the roof, eating… a Pop-Tart. He floated up to the roof, waiting impatiently for Cooler to finish eating _his_ Pop-Tart.

When he finished, Freeza picked him up and floated back to the ground. He had barely taken two steps forward when Dodoria ran by at a surprising speed for his size, followed by Zarbon streaking behind him, yelling,

"Give my clothes back, you mutant piece of bubble gum!"

"Not a chance, Streaking Beauty!" Dodoria cackled, not slowing down. Freeza quickly covered Cooler's eyes and shut his own. That was something neither of them needed to see. _Ever._ Twitching slightly, he started forward again, trying to forget what he had just seen. Cooler was shaking slightly in his arms, and Freeza patted his head.

"Just try to forget," he said with a blank look on his face.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 3 HOURS?" Freeza exploded at the scientist.

"W-well, Lord Freeza, it d-does t-take a while for such d-drastic changes t-to be r-reversed," stuttered the terrified scientist. "Will there be any side effects of the reversal?" Freeza asked more calmly. The tall, frog-like man blinked his four eyes, looking at a random page on his clipboard.

"No, sir, but he will have no memory whatsoever of the incident."

Freeza smirked, trying to hide his relief. Cooler would kill him if he knew what happened. His expression hardened. "I'll stall my father and everyone else for those three hours. If they come here, tell them it's already been searched, and you're all searching as well." The scientist nodded, anxious to get away. "Follow me, Lord Freeza," said the tall green man, turning down a corridor of the lab. Freeza picked up his chibi brother and followed the scientist. They followed him to the main part of the building, where a large glass tube, almost like a regeneration tank, was being prepared. Another scientist came over to take Cooler from his arms. The chibi's tail tightened around Freeza's upper arm, and his cool expression changed to one of fear. Freeza almost felt reluctant to let him go. He had grown to like being the older sibling. Gently he pried loose the tail around his arm, and let the scientist's webbed hands take the small Icejin. Chibi Cooler gave him a pleading look, stretching his arms out for Freeza to take him back. Freeza had to use all of his self-control to stay put with a cold expression on his face. Regret tugged at his heart as the little chibi was sealed inside the tank, the oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. The bluish liquid had already started to fill the tank. Chibi Cooler put a small purple hand to the glass. Freeza couldn't stop himself from walking to the glass tube and bending down to the chibi's height. Freeza put his own pale white had to Cooler's through the glass. The liquid had almost reached Cooler's neck, and his dark red eyes were already closing. His purple hand slipped from the glass, and Freeza sighed, trying to push away the feeling of sadness welling up in him. He stood up, regaining his usual cold expression and demeanor. He noticed the scientists were all gawking at him.

"What are you staring at? Get to work!" he snapped.

Freeza exited the lab to find his father and stall him. As soon as he left the entranceway, a servant walked up to him, taking a breath to ask the obvious question.

"No, I have not seen my brother," said Freeza, slightly exasperated. "I have just finished searching this building, now move on," he said coldly. The servant only nodded, and walked away.

Flying back to the main palace, Freeza searched high and low for his father. Finally he spotted King Cold leaving the second level of the palace. He landed directly in front of his father, who immediately began speaking.

"Freeza, have you—"

"No." Freeza fixed him with a cold stare. "Father, this is ridiculous. Cooler can take care of himself; he'll show up in due time." King Cold opened his mouth to answer, but Freeza cut him off. "Why don't we go play chess or something?"

Freeza wanted to fall asleep. He had been sitting for what felt like an eternity. It had been his father's turn for ages, and he wanted desperately to do _something_ besides sit and waste time with this ridiculous game. He glanced at the clock, suppressing a groan. It had only been 45 minutes since he had left Cooler with the geneticists to be de-chibied.

"Come _on_, Father, it's been 20 minutes for Kami's sake!" he said in exasperation. King Cold appeared to have come out of a trance.

"Oh, I apologize, son, I just dozed off for a minute there." Freeza turned around and started banging his head against the wall. Another 15 minutes passed. "Father, have you made a move yet?" he asked through clenched teeth. King Cold looked confused. "Son, it's your turn."

"Excuse me for a minute," said Freeza calmly. He left the room and shut the door. A few seconds passed, and muffled screaming could be heard from the next room. The door opened, and Freeza reentered the room. He walked over to the table, picked up the chess board, tossed it into the air, and vaporized it with a ki blast.

"Screw the game, let's eat." Said Freeza quickly.

Freeza was digging through the freezer for ice cream, throwing random objects over his shoulder as he did so: a tractor tire, a bag of frozen French fries, a trombone, a box of macaroni, a peanut butter sandwich, and some sort of primeval creature frozen in a block of ice; before finally finding a tub of vanilla ice cream.

He walked out of the huge freezer with a triumphant smirk. King Cold was asleep with his head on the table. Freeza cleared his throat.

"Ahem!" The Icejin king didn't stir. Freeza rolled his eyes, and dropped the tub of ice cream on the floor, making a tremendous 'thump'. The whole palace jumped six feet in the air, along with everything and everyone in it. King Cold woke with a snort.

"Huh? Whassat racket?" he asked sleepily. The annoyed Icejin in front of him just huffed and retrieved the container of ice cream from its crater. King Cold watched as his son pulled out a blender and strawberries seemingly from nowhere, and start mixing. When both smoothies were done, he poured them and got two straws. But he still had one final ingredient to add.

"Look, a flying toaster!" Freeza exclaimed, pointing out the window.

"Where?" While his father's back was turned, he poured something into one of the smoothies, and quickly vaporized a clear, empty bottle labeled 'Explosive X-Lax'. "I don't see any toaster, son," said King Cold confusedly.

"Never mind, you must have missed it," said the purple-and-white Icejin dismissively. He set a smoothie in front of his father and watched as he downed the whole thing in one gulp.

"That was nice of you, Freeza." Cold's eyes narrowed. "What's going on?"

Freeza sweatdropped.

"Nothing, Father," he said sweetly. Cold didn't have the mental capacity to see through his son's obvious lie. Freeza glanced at the clock. Only an hour and 15 minutes left. Suddenly Cold's stomach gurgled. "Excuse me for a moment," he said before hurrying off to find a bathroom. Freeza smiled at his plan's success. He got up and left the building, wanting to be a safe distance when the 'bomb' went off. He looked at his watch.

"…3…2…1…" _BOOM!_ A huge rumble shook the ground. Freeza smirked; his father was taken care of for now. As he was walking, a small spaceship landed in front of him. He swore loudly. What a time for the planet to be invaded! He charged up a ki blast, ready to blast the invaders to HFIL. The door opened, and Freeza saw two average-height figures walk out. An annoyingly high-pitched, arrogant voice split the silence.

"Fools, bow before me, your emperor, Pilaf!" Freeza looked around for the source of the voice; neither of the two figures had spoken. "Down here, reptile!" came the irritating voice. When the smoke cleared, he saw a very short, ugly green creature wearing ridiculous clothing, flanked by a woman with long black hair, and an anthropomorphic dog in a spandex ninja suit. He just stared for a moment. _This _was the invasion force? Freeza laughed out loud at the sight. This enraged the wannabe tyrant. "You will bow in the presence of your ruler!" Pilaf raged. The two standing beside him looked slightly embarrassed.

"Shut your mouth, you green bean, loudmouth midget," said Freeza. "And _no one_ insults me to my face and gets away with it." With that, he fired the ki blast, blowing them all backwards, along with the ship. When the smoke cleared away, the three clearly frazzled invaders scrambled to their feet.

Pilaf looked like he was about to blow a fuse. "Mai! Shu!" He barked, jumping up and down in fury. "Show this lizard why no one disobeys Pilaf!" The two lackeys looked terrified, but reluctantly obeyed their master. Mai pulled out a semiautomatic weapon, cocking the gun and taking aim. Shu had a similar one. The both rushed forward and fired. Freeza just smirked, not moving. Pilaf's eyes bugged out as the bullets bounced off of his body. Still smirking, he held out his hand, charging another blast. Both lackeys' eyes widened in terror. Dropping their weapons, they screamed and made a break for the ship. Pilaf seemed to realize the position he was in. He ran to the ship, shrieking "Wait for me!" to his not-so-loyal servants. Freeza's smirk widened as he loosed the blast, obliterating the ship and listening to the screams of the 'invaders'. He looked down at the timepiece from the ship that conveniently landed at his feet. Only 45 minutes left.

Making a mental note to take some Advil later, Freeza left the smoldering wreckage to burn. To make things worse, King Cold came out of the palace and approached his son.

"Sorry, son, I just had a little digestive distress. Now what were we doing?" Freeza was getting desperate. He was running out of time and options. There was only one thing left to do. He put on a childish smile.

"Chase me, Father!" he said, and bolted away at full speed. King Cold was dumbfounded for am moment, then shrugged and ran after his son.

Half an hour of running later, Freeza was exhausted. Taking shelter in the shadow of a building, he tried to get his breath back. 15 minutes. He had to lose his father and get back to the genetics building before Cold put two and two together. Once he had got some of his breath back, Freeza made a break for it. He ran at full speed towards the lab, taking several wrong turns and detours in the process, but eventually getting there.

He bolted into the main lab, scaring most of the scientists out of their wits. Several fell over, causing a flurry of papers and pens. Cooler, now back to normal, was standing with his back against the wall, quietly observing what was happening. He looked mildly surprised at the sudden appearance of his younger brother, but said nothing. Freeza took a moment to get his breath back before running to Cooler and demanding that he see their father. Before Freeza could start ranting, he wanted to know what was going on.

"Why will no one tell me why or how I'm here?"

Freeza sweatdropped. "That's not important right now!" he said, tugging his brother's tail to get him to move. While he was relieved that Cooler remembered nothing of his chibi experience, it would be difficult to concoct a lie that he would believe. Cooler was one of the very few people that Freeza knew who could tell when someone was lying.

Suddenly King Cold stormed in; wanting to know what was going on.

"Freeza, what in HFIL is going on here?" he demanded to know.

"Nothing, Father." Cooler spoke up, saving Freeza from having to answer. "There you are! Where were you for the last 5 hours?" Cold asked, bewildered. His eldest son looked quizzically back at him. "I was healing from smoke inhalation in the regeneration tanks. If you recall, I was present when the lab exploded." He replied evenly. Freeza envied his brother's ability to lie so easily. Cold looked satisfied with this explanation. He gave Freeza a strange look.

"Did you forget to take your medication, Freeza?"

"Just leave, Father!" Freeza exploded. He turned to Cooler, who was trying not to laugh. "Shut up."


End file.
